Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Five WORST ways to get drunk

Well, click on this link for the article, but I can add more to the list:

1. Three words: Jordanian Spiced Whiskey. Especially when you buy it from some "shopkeeper" in Mahmudiya, Iraq. Super especially when he offers to sell you AK-47's at 60 bucks a pop and wants you to come alone with him to his shop. Thinking back on it, I should have shot the guy. At the time, I just gave him the ten bucks for the bottle and mixed it with Gatorade. Two days later, I bought a six-pack of Egyptian beer from him.

2. Two Words: Egyptian beer.

3. Another tip from Uncle Mark's Drink tips and Other War Stories: Never EVER, EVER, EVER buy vodka from Romanian soldiers in Afghanistan. And especially don't do it three or four times. But if you DO, mix it with gatorade. Sense a pattern here?

4. I don't want to get a certain Special Forces medic in trouble, but..........did you know that Jim Beam comes in cans? Neither did I. Although, it DOES help you forget the sight and sound of a chest tube going into someone. By the way the sound is "crucnhhbhhhhhhhh"

5. OK......many of my six or seven readers are not going to believe this......BUT. Hand Sanitizer. When I was a Drill Sergeant, I knew another Drill who had found two privates obviously drunk. Upon further investigation, he determined that they had mixed Purell Hand Sanitizer with.......wait for it.......gatorade. One of them blew a .19



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